apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
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