Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize