I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize