she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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