watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You're like the curious george of whores
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
