I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize