btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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