I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
my liver is dry heaving
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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