just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
