mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
