Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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