Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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