drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
