I feel great
I just peed on a car
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
