she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
