If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
