If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize