Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
