Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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