My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
