I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
