yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
