It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
