I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
