last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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