She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
