I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
