Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Randomize
