Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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