You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
