he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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