Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
