we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
