We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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