oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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