I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
