a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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