Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
