One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
