apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
