I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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