I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize