dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
