I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
