i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
