I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
