does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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