Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize