I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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