Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
