too bad you live with your parents still
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
