know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
