i was born a porn star she said
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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