I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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