is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
