on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
