Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
People in love make me want to vomit
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize