Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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