I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
