it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
