i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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