i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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