just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
